I spent half a decade feeling powerless – physically, emotionally and mentally. But those days taught me to rely on God. Day by day, moment by moment, breath by breath.
I was a single parent, trying to hold life together. My adolescent daughters were struggling, as they felt disillusioned and angry at life. Escalating health problems left me with little energy to go on and some days I would literally collapse in exhaustion. I needed rest. Joy. An anchor to hold on to.
I decided to go on a personal retreat to sit with God and pore over the Word. To find encouragement and refreshment in Him. But as I sat with Scripture, encouragement never came. Reading 2 Chronicles 20, the account of Jehoshaphat facing a great army, I felt a distinct sense of dread. I read: “We are powerless against this great horde that is coming against us. We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you” (2 Chron 20:12).
A great horde was coming. Did that apply to me? If so, who were they? And how should I prepare?
Though the story was familiar, Jehoshaphat’s response still moved me. Instead of consulting advisors and summoning the troops, Jehoshaphat simply appealed to the Lord. He prayed and declared a fast. He didn’t try to prepare. He just trusted God.
God answered his pleas, saying: “Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed at this great horde, for the battle is not yours but God’s.… You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position and see the salvation of the Lord on your behalf” (2 Chron 20: 15, 17).
I clung to God’s words for Jehoshaphat. I needed to stand firm. I didn’t need a battle plan. I just needed to keep my eyes on the Lord. This was his battle, not mine. But what was it and when would it begin?
A few weeks after I got home, an unexpected announcement put my world in a tailspin. And then soon afterwards, my arms began failing. Within a few days, I could barely use them. With post-polio, I knew this could happen at some point, but I was not prepared for this. View full post »